Get in loser, we're going cycling!
2017 was just one of those years. I was in my third year as a counselor and I was already experiencing burn out. I didn’t know it at the time but I realize that now in retrospect. That was the year I started going to therapy. I knew I needed to talk to someone but making the decision to seek help had taken some time. I was afraid I would find out something about myself that I didn’t want to confront. As a way to cope, I also started cycling. I had already lost about 40 pounds and was looking for something fun that would help me continue to stay on track.
I found a cycling studio nearby and finally took my first indoor cycling class. I was obsessed! I clipped into my bike and I never got off. After taking classes for two years, I received an email about an upcoming spin instructor training. There I went, signing up, thinking it was a stellar idea. My thoughts were, I love music, I love spin, what a combination! Once training started, reality settled in quickly. The six-week training was brutal, not because it was physically exhausting, but because it was challenging to be myself on the podium. I had so much anxiety and I was completely out of my comfort zone. I sat clipped into the podium bike, mic on, light focused on me, frozen without an idea of what to say. I cried a few times in front of my classmates and in front of the master instructor. Thankfully I was in a safe space but I felt like I was back in the 3rd grade. No te miento, throughout the training I thought that perhaps I had made a mistake and maybe I wasn’t cut out to be an instructor. I completed the training but still had so much to learn. After not making the cut after the first audition, I was officially ready to put cycling on the back burner. In true Mean Girls spirit all I could think was, stop trying to make fetch happen.
So I’ve never considered myself to be brilliant or extraordinary. What I do know about myself is that I am persistent. Even when I’m deteriorating and it seems like I’m about to throw in the towel, I pull through. I’ve been doing this since 1988 LOL. That is exactly what I did. Although I was embarrassed and wasn’t 100% sure of myself, I found the courage to keep going. I continued practicing, I kept taking classes, and continued showing up to auditions. My willingness to be uncomfortable and look like a rookie got me my first cycling instructor job. For the longest time, I thought anxiety hindered me from doing the things I wanted to do. The anxiety I experience has propelled me to take leaps I would have never taken before. When I began my journey of growth (and discomfort), I was afraid that I would learn something I didn’t like about myself. What I found instead is that I am courageous after all.
Vanessa, thank you! Yes, cycling is hard, mostly talking while cycling part and knowing how to breathe helps. :) I will certainly talk about my weight loss journey soon, thank you for reading and writing a comment! <3
Amazing! I also judge myself very harshly. Would love some tips on how you started that weight loss journey! I imagine Cycling is very challenging if you don’t know how to control your breathing
Claudia, thank you so much for your feedback and for reading. :)
Thank you for sharing this! It is very inspiring!
Jennifer, thank you so much! I’m glad you know you know you are capable and have proof, they are good reminders for us to keep going :) Thank you for reading!